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Am I a bad person?

Ever since I was invited to church by my friend, I struggled with the question of the existence of God and the question of whether the God in the Bible was the Creator, if the Creator truly existed. I thought about these questions a lot during those days when I was alone and was not occupied by schoolwork.


Very soon I found that there was another big question that I needed to address if I was to take the God in the bible seriously. It was a problem that was not directly related to the existence of God. It was the problem of sin. According to the bible, Sin was the reason that a person needed to be “saved”.


Was I a sinner?


I did not believe that anyone knew me would think that I was a bad person. I was always polite to friends, teachers, and neighbors. I rarely lied. I never said any bad words or curse words. I was always nice to people, and I was nice even to animals like dogs and cats.


I discussed sin with my father, and he said confidently that he was definitely not a sinner. He said he could stand before men and heaven with an absolutely clear conscious. I thought he probably was not alone with such confidence.


However, the Bible said everyone was a sinner. The Bible raised the standard of morality to an unreasonably high level, wasn’t it? Jesus said if you thought about adultery, then you committed adultery. Therefore, I sinned if I just thought about committing a sin, even though I did not commit it in real life. Was it reasonable?


I pondered on the question of sin for possibly a few weeks and did not make much progress. Then I began to ask myself a slightly different question to see if I could find something new. The question was: if I was not a sinner, then who was?


I thought a reasonable answer should not be too difficult to find. A “sinner” would be someone who was convicted of a crime like killing, raping, stealing, or some other crimes that hurt and brought suffering to other people.


I was never convicted of any crimes. Therefore, I was not a “sinner”. Did it sound right?



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Kevin Jiang
Kevin Jiang
May 30, 2022

Wouldn't there need to be a clear definition of morality before we define the definition of a sinner? How would we define what is good and what is bad? Typically many philosophers would refer to Axiological, Deontological, Perfectionist, Utilitarian, or Relativistic ethics when defining morality. However, I feel like the popular trolly problem highlights how none of these philosophies accounts for any given situation and shows just how difficult pinpointing a clear cut definition is. If one person is on one side of the track and 3 people are on the other, do we pull the lever to save 3 people but kill 1 person? Or do we not do anything and let the three people die? Is doing the action…

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Kevin Jiang
Kevin Jiang
Jun 20, 2022
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Will do :D

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